No one has loved you (or put up with you) like Mom has. Or let’s say it wasn’t “Mom”—maybe it’s been a stepmom, grandma, aunt or other special person in your life. No matter who they are or what you’ve called them, the support and care they’ve shown you over the years is enormous.
So it’s always worth telling these people how much they mean to you.
Wanting to make your words of thanks feel like as big of a deal as their love? Well, we think you should write an old-fashioned, pen-on-paper appreciation letter to express your gratitude. Here’s why, plus a bunch of ideas to help you say it in the way that feels genuine to you and your relationship.
An appreciation letter is just what it sounds like—a letter telling somebody how grateful you are to have them in your life and how much they’re valued and loved.
It can be any length, but normally it’s longer than just a few sentences. After all, one of the perks of writing an appreciation letter is that you have plenty of space to say everything you want to say.
Technically, yes, you can write an appreciation letter to anyone. But we’ve found that most often people are looking for advice on what to write to Mom or a mom-like person in their life.
And it’s no wonder—for most folks, Mom is the person who taught them how to love. Not to mention how to eat with a fork and brush their teeth and basically be a functioning part of society. She’s given a lot over the years and that tends to inspire people to share their gratitude at some point.
That said, the recipient doesn’t have to be a biological mom. It could be your adopted mom or stepmom. It could be a grandma, aunt or godmother. It could be someone who nurtured you and your dreams, comforted you, gave good advice—and maybe bossed you around a little. It could also be someone who isn’t technically family, but whose support, guidance, wisdom or love has made them “like a mom” to you.
Okay, but…why a letter, though?
Most people love getting handwritten letters. First off, they’re very personal. You’re using your own words and stories to express what they truly mean to you. And Mom knows your handwriting better than anyone.
Second, hand-writing a letter takes time, which shows that you care enough to make an effort. And, of course, heartfelt and thoughtful letters often become treasured keepsakes to be reread over and over as years go by.
But also? You might also be surprised how good writing an appreciation letter makes you feel. You’re creating something meaningful for someone you love. Plus, putting the reasons you’re grateful on paper can deepen your own appreciation for the person you’re thanking—in this case, Mom.
The importance of timing
Since an appreciation letter is about expressing gratitude, the perfect time to send one is when you’re feeling extra thankful. Here are some times you might feel inspired to write an appreciation letter to Mom or someone like a mom:
- Maybe they’ve done something lately that really made you feel supported or loved.
- Maybe there’s someone in your life who you just realized has been like a mom to you.
- Maybe you’ve recently become a parent and it’s helped you understand how much Mom did for you.
- Maybe Mother’s Day or Mom’s birthday is coming up.
No matter why you’re feeling grateful or who you’re feeling grateful for, an appreciation letter can be a great way to express it.
Sometimes the hardest part of writing is knowing where to begin. So here are some simple ideas to help get you started. No matter which idea—or combination of ideas—you choose to use in writing your letter, just know that the most meaningful part about it is the effort you make and the memories it’ll let Mom relive.
Compliment Mom on something specific
One of the best parts of writing an appreciation letter is having the opportunity to get really detailed. It helps the person you’re writing to feel seen and loved for who they are. So whatever you love about Mom, tell her—but be sure to also tell her why!
For example, maybe Mom makes the BEST mac and cheese. But when you think about it, you realize her mac and cheese is the best because:
Whatever the compliment you’re paying her, don’t be afraid to go into detail about why that trait or ability sticks out in your memory and means so much to you. She’ll love the opportunity to see herself through your eyes, and it’ll bring up great memories for her, too.
Thank Mom for something specific
Another way to get detailed and show Mom how much you were paying attention to all her caring actions is to thank her for specific things she’s done for you. You can talk about what it meant in that moment or how it impacted your life down the road. Some thought-starters for this idea include:
The power of storytelling
This article gives lots of general suggestions for reasons to thank Mom—but it’s up to you to make your thank-you letter unique. Let’s say Mom helped you through a tough time this year. Close your eyes and imagine yourself back there in that moment with her.
- Can you think of specific words she said that meant a lot?
- A specific place where you spent quality time together?
- What do you remember about that place—any sights or sounds or smells?
Details like that can help your letter tell the story of exactly why Mom is so special. They also make your letter one-of-a-kind—something specific to Mom that couldn’t be sent by anybody else. They show that you have truly noticed and appreciated the unique ways Mom has been there for you.
Make a top-ten list
Everyone loves a good “Top Ten” list, and moms are no exception. Plus, there are SO many possibilities—you can go funny or sweet, memory-based or make it about the future. Here are some “Top Ten” ideas you might consider including in your appreciation letter to Mom.
No matter what kind of list you choose to make, don’t stress about making it exactly ten items long—there’s nothing wrong with making it shorter or longer.
Go digital
Feel like writing just isn’t your thing? As much as we love handwritten letters, we think video messages are a great way to go, too!
With Hallmark Video Greeting Cards you can record a video message telling Mom all the wonderful things you would have otherwise written down. And she can actually download the video to keep or even share it on social to brag to everyone about what a thoughtful kid she has.
Write a letter from your former self
This idea takes a little more imagination and creativity, but don’t let that scare you away! It’s really fun and she’ll love having the opportunity to relive her time with you. To make this idea come to life, write each paragraph of your letter from a different stage in your life.
Tips on writing materials
There are a LOT of proud stationery nerds at Hallmark. (“OMG, where’d you get that pen?” is a question often heard in meetings.) So of course, our tips for making your appreciation letter the best it can be will include paper and writing utensil suggestions.
- Use good, sturdy paper. This is a letter Mom is going to want to keep. So writing it on something that can withstand folding and unfolding—and saving through the years—is a great idea.
- Use a good pen! There’s nothing more frustrating than when you’ve really tapped into your emotions and the words are flowing, but the ink is not. (*shudders*) We love gel pens for their smooth writing and dependability.
- Type it out first. If you’re worried about making mistakes, feel free to type up your letter, make any edits you need and then copy it by hand. Or, if you feel like the quality of your handwriting will make the letter hard to read (chicken-scratchers unite!), just print it out and sign your name in ink for a personal touch.
Finish with a warm closing
Right before you sign your name, add a warm closing. You can write your own, or you can pick one from this list, which comes from our article on what to write in a Mother’s Day card.
Once you’ve got your letter down, you can put it in an envelope with a Mother’s Day card or birthday card or by itself. Then all you have to do is send it in the mail—or, if it’s an option, deliver it in person. Maybe with some flowers!
Want more tips for making your appreciation letter to Mom feel special?
No matter how you deliver it though, just know—your appreciation letter to Mom is going to be one of the best things you’ve ever given her.
